There are highs and lows in life. When we hit the highs we often mistake them for "plateaus". We think to ourselves, "This is my real life. This is where I like to be. I'm comfortable. I'm well rested, have enough money, my kids are doing well, my marriage is thriving, I am doing well at work, etc. and this is the real me shining through."
In many ways this feeling and these thoughts shouldn't be denied. This most certainly is you, but it is only a piece of who you are.
When you hit the lows, that is when the refining process starts and the blood, sweat and tears surface. You loose a job, a spouse, a child. You loose something you were dependent on, something you thought would always be there and suddenly it isn't for one reason or another.
I always fight the lows, fight the loss, at first. I try to negotiate with God. I try to go into my suffering by acting positive and hopeful. I say to the Lord,
"Lord, I know you're allowing me to go through this for a reason, but I trust you will take care of me in the end."
Four or five days go by and I start asking "why". "Why do I have to go through this God???" "Why does anyone have to suffer?" "Didn't you suffer enough for us on the cross that I shouldn't have to suffer now???"
God always reminds me that He is ultimately in control and none of my tears or tantrums are going to change the fact that I will...I am...going through what He has planned for me.
We all go through refining moments. Sometimes those moments become our lifetimes. Sometimes God asks us to walk through caring for a child with disabilities, living with the fact we will never conceive our own children or never finding someone to marry.
We have to remember that these refining moments, whether they last days, months or for the rest of our lives-are meant for greater things. We are meant to live for a purpose that is not of this world, but the world that God is creating for us even now.
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